Hello again lovely people,
Everyone has a past, a story and so do I. Though my past is a story that I didn’t have the courage to share, but I will now because if my story can save one person’s life my mission will be accomplished. My story is the reason why I chose it.
2009: Immigration to Canada
It all started when I first came to Canada in 2009, when I was only 9 years old. Going to a new school is always nerve wrecking for me. The stress of making new friends or being a loner for the rest of the school year, or trying not to embarrass myself. Especially now that I was in a new country where I had to speak a different language. At that time I didn’t know how to fluently talk in English since all my life I spoke Hindi. Other kids took advantage of that. It started with a group of girls which eventually lead to the entire school. I was verbally bullied and got put down in so many ways. Like they would make fun of the way I spoke and my accent, my skin and that “I didn’t belong here.” They would pick the smallest things to torture me with. They would use my vulnerability to their advantage. It didn’t help that I wrote cursive and nobody could read it. I was alone, hurt and annoyed. I didn’t make any friends that year and I have no idea how I went through the most torturous year of my life.
2010: Moving to a new school!
So in 2010 I moved to a different house in a different city. New house, new city means new school and the stress of trying not to be a loner (again). In the summer of 2010 before I moved to a new school, I focused on trying to improve my English and the way I write. I did improve but people didn’t stop putting me down. The same things, the way I look, what I eat, how I do things and so on. This caused fear in my mind that is still there now. I can definitely say that I am afraid to be judged after these events. Though I did end up making 1 friend the comments didn’t stop and the thing is they never do but because I was so new to this I didn’t know how to deal with these gossips but the best way is to leave them alone.
2011- 2012: New start to New education
At the end of grade 6 I got an opportunity to be enrolled in extended French program, my parents love the idea and so in grade 7 it was a new school but same fears. The good part about moving to this school was I knew what I had to do in able to not be made fun of and that was to simply by becoming popular or at least that’s what my escape was. The problem again was how? For the first year I made lots of true friends and slowly the want to become popular took me to different kinds groups. It was like a social ladder that was important to climb in able to not be bullied, or made fun of. In grade 8 this friend and I were in the higher social status and I was so happy because I thought that these are my real friends. Though the reality was they weren’t and they never would have been. Some of them were only friends with us for” backup.” It didn’t take too long for them to betray me. Still I thought they are my friends because if I didn’t think that and let them go, I would be back to square one from where I started to being a loner
2013 – popularity being stripped off
At the end of grade 8 my parents decided to put into the Catholics extended French school because it was way closer than the other school, it had uniform which meant discipline and it had a good rating. But there was a problem none of my other so called friends were coming and that was the reason I never wanted to that school. I fought, begged everything but at the end I ended up to the catholic school. I was sad, angry, annoyed, scared but mostly depressed just thinking of what would happen. When I went to the math camp before held by the school, I found the friends I first used to hang out with. The funny part is that even when I ditched them they didn’t mind having me back. My real friends were always there to support but I never/ didn’t want to notice them. We made another friend. In grade 9 we were a group of 4 and we weren’t popular but I was happy with who I was friends with because I could be myself. They made me feel beautiful in who I am and made me a stronger person. It didn’t just stop there. All the events like being bullied and being betrayed had made me so weak of person that with stress and exceptions, I was soon lead to depression. At one point I blamed everything I did. I made it hard for me to live, it was impossible to sleep with nightmares scared of those times to come back. I started being irritated, rude annoyed. It was just one of the worst and darkest times for me. I didn’t tell anyone thinking that they may think I am a psycho. See the fear of being judged. This is what happens when someone gets bullied, or put into a stereotype, it makes them mentally weak.
2014- A chance to prove something
At the end on 2014 meaning middle of grade 10 My dad provided me with an opportunity of going to the Miss Teenage Ontario pageant. I never thought pageants could be my things but for once I wanted to do something for myself, try something new and just have fun so I made it through the several interviews and paperwork. But again I was scared of the fact that people will judge like they have for the longest time. I want to thank Miss Teenage Canada pageant that gave me the opportunity to meet the nicest people on earth who don’t categorize you. This pageant has made me realized that not everyone is the same, we are all different and unique, the pageant has made much more confident and made me feel beautiful in who I am. Miss teenage Canada has give me my self esteem that I lost because of a couple of kids.
What it means to me?
To me spreading my platform means saving tons of people going through the same path as me. Though my depression wasn’t at its worse, it could be for others. Making fun of people, bullying a person or judging a person can really destroy the individual to a point that it can be lead to suicide. I want to spread confidence and the message of being strong to the bullies and the individuals being bullied.
What I would do as Miss Teenage Canada to promote that platform?
If I become Miss Teenage Canada, it would allow me spread my platform to people all over Canada and the world. It would give me the opportunity of spreading Miss Teenage Canada’s motto that relates to my platform- be your own kind of beautiful. I would be able to raise awareness to what such small things like gossiping can do and I would be able to spread confidence to everyone getting hurt and those hurting (because nobody just hurts for no reason). We all need to reminded that we are all unique, beautiful, different, strong people to not have to harm others or let us be harmed by others. So as miss teenage Canada I would do as many events as possible not just in my province but travel to different provinces and spread what I truly believe in, I would take my platform to a national and even international levels.